The Voyage Continues

It seems I have been forever on this voyage. Being transgendered amongst those who do not understand transgender is pinful, but always a chance to educate.

Many, even in the GLBT community do not understand that even though I have not started hormone therapy or surgery (economics and age), I am still a man inside. I am not a lesbian who is afraid to face that fact, nor does the fact that I am trannyfag make me a straight woman who cannot deal with being attracted to men. I very much feel like a gay man inside. My spouse, who is also trannygay understands this.

I think what hurts the most is that I have been misunderstood, even in the LGBT community. I expect this sort of thing from straight people. But to have a lesbian tell me to simply identify as lesbian (which I could do since my spouse is also pre-op/presurgery FTM who cannot have the surgery due to immune issues) was surprising and hurt, as I consider this person to be a friend. The problem here is that neither of us consider ourselves to be lesbians. How would some lesbian like it if I were to dismiss how she identifies herself?

Ever since young, I have felt wrong in this body. I remember being little and seeing a group of boys. I knew that I ought to be dressed like them. Growing up, my mum, who recently passed away, finally told me a few years ago that she accepted me as transgendered and that after thinking about my childhood, there were things which indicated, based on what she knew about trangendered people, that I was male in a female body.

I am fully committed to this journey. I guess we'll see where it goes from here on.